Weekend Haikus

Sometimes regular posts
start to feel repetitive
so we “go haiku”

1. Capital One Shopping has targeted increased cash-back for Giftcards.com of up to 12%. MEAB’s haiku review:
   
   Twelve percent beats fees
   you won’t earn Loyalty Points
   cashing out is key
   
   Note that you’ll probably have a different cash back offer for the mobile app, the desktop, and a targeted email, so check all three.
   
2. American Express Offers has $150 back on $1,000 or more in airfare at Air Canada for flights originating in the US and ticketed with US Dollars booked by December 31. Now, let’s haiku:
   
   AmEx offers abound
   breaking correlation helps
   never play it straight
   
   You can game it, but just don’t game it in Canadian currency. (Thanks to TeddyH)
   
3. A quick recap of Delta’s “devaluation rebiggening”:
   
   – You need slightly fewer MQDs to attain status, but still more than before
   – If you have a Delta Platinum or Reserve card, you get an annual $2,500 MQD credit
   – Million Milers bump up in lifetime status levels
   – You can spend rolled-over MQMs on status extensions, 100,000 MQD per year
   – Better exchange rates on existing MQMs in 2024
   
   But MEAB, can you let us know how you feel in the form of a haiku?
   
   Changes beat stick in eye
   SkyMiles are still the worst miles
   too little, too late
   
4. American Express has retooled the Hilton Aspire and Surpass cards with:
   
   – Bigger annual fees (+$100 on Aspire and +$65 on Surpass)
   – Bigger Hilton credits ($200 x 2 at resorts on Aspire, $50 x 4 on Surpass)
   – Loss of Priority Pass
   – $200 annual airline incidental credits switch to $50 quarterly airfare credits
   
   “Haiku me”, I hear you say:
   
   Aspire was O.P.,
   was future Unsung Hero,
   now I’m not so sure
   
5. Kroger online has $10 off of $150 or more in Visa and Mastercards with promo code OCT2023 through October 25. Let’s jump to the chase:
   
   U.S. Bank issued,
   won’t code as grocery so
   useful for fuel points

Have a nice weekend friends!

Can someone please rewrite this banger as a haiku, or do I have to do everything myself?