1. Do this now: Register your Chase Freedom and Freedom Flex cards for 5x earning at gas stations, up to $150 each. I’m still working out on the criteria for whether or not a deal is worth posting, and even though haven’t completely solidified that I can tell you that I’m sure this just barely squeaked under the door like Indiana Jones’s hat in Raiders of the Lost Ark. This one is worth 150 * 5x * 1.5 cpp when paired with a Sapphire Reserve, or $11.25; so don’t go out of your way to max out this deal, just let it happen if it will.

2. SoFi is offering between $25 and $2,500 for transferring assets into their brokerage. Hopefully your AMC and GME stock (but never SLV, amirite?) at RobinHood can get you a few tiers up the ladder. I’ll be moving some Fidelity assets over for 6 months, then I’ll move them back to Fidelity for another sign up bonus there (or another brokerage if it makes sense.) Remember, they can transfer any stocks or retirement account holdings directly. There’s no need to sell anything and your portfolio won’t change during the move.

Note that you could bring over $0.01 and earn $25.00. That’s 2,500x! …he says in jest. Better yet: sign up for a RobinHood account with a friend’s link, get your free stock, then transfer that over to SoFi and collect your $25. That’s (divide by zero)x!

A dog dressed in a red and blue jester costume.
What words said in jest look like, if they were a dog.