EDITOR’S NOTE: Special thanks to John from BABC for putting together this guest post during the holiday season last year, and special jeers to Matt from MEAB that it’s April now.
I am a High School math teacher who not only participates in churning credit cards, bank accounts, gift cards, brokerage accounts, college tuition grants (I received a free master’s degree in education along with a free car back in 2019 from that endeavor), and pretty much anything else. I am also a tour guide of the many Churning Adventures in this fun and profitable game via my YouTube Channel. Every year, I spend an entire year making a single YouTube video where I attempt to document every single bonus I collect from January to December of that year. Usually, there are so many that I forget to document every single one. My annual goal from when I started in this fun and profitable goal back in 2017 is $10,000 from opening up new accounts. This past year, 2024, was my best yet as I made well over 3x that and after thinking about a few bonuses I didn’t include… it was actually, almost 4x that goal!
This post is not to brag. I document the profitable plays with videos 3x a week, so you can also participate if you choose to do so. I don’t pay out the bonuses, and I don’t make up the rules to get the bonuses… as I said, I’m just a tour guide for these Churning Adventures. Some of the manufactured spenders reading this would simply laugh at “rookie numbers,” while others would be impressed… others would travel to the Marriott in Lubbock, TX, just to step on a rake in the lobby and call it just another day, as business as usual.
I wanted to discuss in this post why this is a profitable game? Why are there so many opportunities to more often than not just sit at home on your couch or at a desktop, press a few buttons, and make more money appear in your bank account than actually getting dressed up, fighting traffic, and teaching a full day at a public high school? This process took me about 6 minutes today, from a single bonus to make more in churning than I would in a 10-hour day of being a high school math teacher. (I drive about an hour each way and spend my contract hours of 7 A.M. – 3 P.M. at that place with those people) That’s where the 10-hour figure came from, but I usually stay later as I refuse to take my teaching work home. I am also a member of the FIRE community and do plan on reaching my early retirement in 2-4 years, and just churn full-time and collect weekly dividends from high-yield ETFs… God Willing.
The answer to profitability and why people get paid is a simple one that is sadly not taught in our public schools. I know because at the beginning of each semester in the 13 years that I have been a teacher, I ask my students the simple question, “Why do people get paid?”. Of the thousands of students who have sat in my classroom in 13 years and counting, nobody has managed to answer the correct answer to that question when I first asked it. I shame our public education system by saying to my students, “Wow, from kindergarten to 12th grade… nobody can correctly answer this simple yet profound question that will impact you for the rest of your life, why do people get paid?”
I would get the standard response, “People get paid for working… DUH!” and I would follow up with, “Well, what does work produce? EVERYONE gets paid for the EXACT same reason… they don’t get paid the same amount but for the EXACT same reason,” and then, I get greeted by confusion and silence. I would also hear, “People get paid because they have bills.” Then I would follow up and say, “If I’m looking to hire an accountant for my business, would I ask the applicants, ‘Who has the most bills?” as that would produce the most qualified person… right? If you get paid to pay bills, then the person who has the most debt and bills would be the most qualified. Then my students would say that makes no sense. Then the consensus would be “I don’t know why people get paid”.
I would ask my students which profession makes a lot of money? One student would typically say that doctors make a lot of money. I would ask my class, “Who would just go up to a random doctor and hand them $1,000? Doctors are supposed to make a lot of money, right?” Everyone would just look at me, confused. I would follow this up with, well, what if you had a broken arm? You would gladly hand a doctor $1,000, right? The students would say, “Of course”. I would say, “What is the difference?” Well, the broken arm… What is the broken arm?
The Broken arm is a problem. It’s a big problem. If your car breaks down, who do you call? Someone to fix that problem… If your air conditioner stops blowing cold air, who do you call? Someone to fix that problem. (Interesting fact, Houston, not Lubbock, is the most air-conditioned city in the world) People get paid to solve problems. If you solve little problems, then you will get paid a little money. If you solve bigger problems, then you will make bigger money. That is why people get paid. That is why everyone gets paid… to solve problems. No matter if you are a teacher, a doctor, or a churner. It just so happens that EVERY single problem is a math problem, and that math class is the most important class you can take in your life.
This is how we need to look at life and churning. What problems do the banks have? They need new customers and are willing to pay very nicely to get them… funny enough, it doesn’t matter if you are a new customer or a repeat new customer, you will get paid out the same. Banks also need money to lend out so they can make interest from customers.
The average person who buys a $300,000 home and stays there for 30 years and doesn’t pay anything extra on their mortgage will end up paying about $700,000 for that house… that’s why banks pay pretty much nothing as far as interest goes on checking accounts and demand you keep a certain amount in your account that pays no interest or you get a fee, and banks get their product for free.
Last year, I made over $31,000 by opening up new accounts and solving the problem of needing new customers for banks and credit unions, and brokerages that need new customers and are willing to pay us for it… Join me in solving the fun and profitable problems that only churners and MSers can solve to make this the most profitable 2026!
– John from BABC
I have no idea what problem this duck solves